Backwards
by CallMeDemon
Summary: Santana's inner musings  I guess  about change. Fluffiness abounds! Brittana with mentions of unicorns.


_God what happened to this place? Everything's just so backwards. New Directions, Cheerios, Quinn, Mercedes, Brittany, Blaine, Me, Rachel, well actually, Rachel's the same. Dwarf, Midget, Hobbit, Loud Mouth, ugh I need some new nicknames…I'll have to come up with some tonight. What was my point? Right. Backwards._

_I mean Mr. Schue actually grew a pair, I would have kicked me out a long time ago, then letting me back in? Not to say I'm not glad…but I wouldn't trust me. Seriously Mr. Schue. And Cheerios? I can't even remember why I'd want to join again. I must have some twisted need to constantly be yelled at. But that's an issue for another time._

"Santana?"

_And Quinn! A Skank one second the next it's back to your baby doll dresses? She's gotta be more messed up than me. Who's she trying to fool with this good girl act anyways?_

"Santana!"

_Then there's Brittany…well I guess it's more Me than Brittany. I'm the one who's still hiding, even though I know she knows I'm no-_

"Santana!" I jumped upon hearing my name yelled in my ear.

"Jesus Britt! You scared me. Why did you yell in my ear?" I asked rubbing it furiously trying to get the ringing to stop.

"I said your name like three times, were you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?" She asked pouting.

"What? No! No Britt-Britt, I was just thinking, about, stuff…" I said lamely.

"What stuff? Like scary Santana stuff? Revenge stuff? Oo are you thinking about ducks?" She asked in a very Brittany like fashion.

"Just about…your campaign! New uh poster ideas." I said.

"Oh cool, can't wait to hear them. After school? My house?" She asked smiling. I smiled back.

"Of course. Now come on, or we'll be late for glee." I said linking our pinkies.

"I'm so glad you're back!" She said bumping her shoulder into mine.

"Me too Britt-Britt. Me too."

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><p><em>Unicorns. Somehow many of my conversations with Brittany now involve unicorns. Not like they weren't brought up before in previous conversations, but lately our after school convos seem to revolve around them. Not that I mind much. Everything she says makes sense. I don't like believe in them, but how she talks about people being different types of unicorns, I get that.<em>

_Like Kurt, being just once big, (well not a BIG unicorn, he'd be more like miniature pony sized) rainbow unicorn. Not original, I know, but that's what Brittany said, and I can't help but agree._

_But it's what she said about me that I can't help but smile at. It was so Brittany to say something and not realize the impact she was having. _

"San, you're like a pink unicorn-"

"Pink! Brit-"

"-cause when the sun rises, and sets the sky turns all these pretty colors, cause of the sunbeams, and I always think the pinks the prettiest, but it wouldn't turn pink if it weren't for the sun, and I'm the sun, so I guess I'd be a yellow unicorn, and the yellow and pink unicorns always go the best together. The yellow ones make the pink ones pinker and happier and the pink ones help the yellow ones shine brighter." Brittany said all her attention focused on the words she was writing on her poster. I looked at her with my mouth slightly open and my eyes starting to tear just a little bit. I quickly rub at them before she could notice and went back to working on my poster.

"Yeah, I think you are a yellow unicorn…"I said finally, "full of sunshine and smiles…"

"And you'd be my pink unicorn. Which are the sweetest, cause they're full of cotton candy." She said giggling. I laughed with her.

"Cotton candy...sure Britt."

As long as we were together I wouldn't care if we were a couple of toads.

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><p><em>Backwards. Everyone in this school. All different, changed. Confusing. Yes, Santana Lopez gets confused. Sue me. I'm STILL a closet lesbian, a Cheerio, in glee club, and now West Side Story, none of which go together. Except glee and the play. I guess those are the same. Still in love with Brittany, and apparently I'm a unicorn, apparently we all are, at least figuratively. Things would probably be easier if we all actually were mythical creatures…Brittany's different, good different though. Quinn…god everything! Even Mercedes has a boyfriend. <em>

"Santana?"

_But is it bad? Things changing? _

"Santana!"

_I mean, maybe change is good, maybe it'll help me with, well 'coming out' and getting Brittany, for good. Not just in my head._

"Santana!"

"Jesus Britt! Again? Do you want me to go deaf?" I asked, none of the annoyance I felt coming though in my tone.

"You weren't listening again." She pouted.

"I'm sorry Britt, I was thinking…again" I said.

"Well stop thinking and start helping me put up these posters!" She said nudging me, a smile playing on her lips. I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Slave driver." I mumbled not to quietly. She stuck her tongue out and went back to work. I looked at the posters we'd come up with, half yellow, half pink with the word 'Change' below the picture of Brittany smiling.

"When I win, you and I are going to BreadstiX to celebrate. Just us." Brittany said flashing me a smile.

"I'd love to."

_Change can be good, but some things are okay staying the same and, for now at least, I'm fine with where we are. Where I am. At least, for now._

_Oh god, I am _so freaking_ corny…_

* * *

><p>Authors Note: I just don't understand anything...<br>Like this story! I have no idea where it came from, just some randomness in my head, I'm not even sure if it makes sense...though I hope it does. You be the judge!


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